How to Survive Online Dating

I had a very interesting date a couple weeks ago. I went out with this guy and we had nothing to say to each other. It very clearly was not a love connection. We went to Chili’s and I thought our waiter was much more attractive and had a better personality than my date. That’s never a good sign. So then my date takes me home. I was suprised when he got out of the car to give me a hug. I said, “Well, it was nice meeting you” because I sure as hell wasn’t going to say “see you later” or anything that would indicate us seeing each other ever again. So then I turn away from him to check my mailbox. All of a sudden I hear, “Do you give head?” I was in shock. I didn’t know if I even heard him correctly. I turn towards him to discover that he has his hand on his belt! I was horrified. I think I stammered something along the lines of “No, no, that’s weird, no” and ran into the house. I guess he figured that he might as well try to get SOMETHING out of the date since we very obviously would not be seeing each other again. Well, he didn’t get it from me!

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